Foster Parenting with the Mays

Fostering compassion


Mike and Claire May recently sat at the dinner table talking about the unusual manger scene their 6-year-old foster son created. The boy explained that the nativity characters were standing on water because, of course, God could make people walk on water. With a gentle smile, Claire asked the boy if he remembered which disciple walked on the water with Jesus. Excited to answer, he shouted, "Peter Pan!"

Married in 2007, Mike, 32, and Claire, 31, knew they were open to adoption, so they attended Cornerstone Church of Knoxville’s Orphan Care Seminar in 2009. While there, they went to the foster care session. "We came out of the session, and I remember telling people that foster care was a huge need but that it probably wasn't for us," Mike said.

Shortly after that, the couple began the process of adopting an infant through a private adoption agency. "While filling out the paperwork, we had to decide how old of a child we would be willing to adopt. We decided that we would consider any children up to age 2. But that made us start to think a little -- couldn't we foster-to-adopt a child through the state? After all, foster care is free!" Mike said.

At about the same time, Claire said she began to feel led by the Holy Spirit to pursue it. "When we talked that evening, I came to the same conclusion -- this must be from the Lord! So we began the journey of becoming a foster home. The process started with a class that took several weeks and ended with a home study. Along the way, we decided that we would foster any kid up to age 8," Mike said.

In March, they were approved by the Department of Children’s Services, and the very same day they received a call for a child placement. "We have had two sets of brother/sister siblings since March," Mike said. "The first placement lasted about two months. Our current foster children have been with us for about seven months."

With both sets of siblings, Mike and Claire knew from the beginning that DCS was working toward returning the children to their families. It is one of the most challenging realities of fostering. "But we have to love and care for them right now -- God gives grace," said Claire.

Caring for children who come from unstable backgrounds is difficult, but also teaches the couple about trusting the Lord."When they first come, there are sometimes sleepless nights. Later on, you deal with fears about the past, future and uncertainty. And there are challenging behaviors that change all the time," Claire said. "We constantly pray for patience and wisdom!"

For all of the difficulties, there are overwhelming joys, too. The greatest is watching the children learn about the Gospel, usually for the first time in their lives. "One of our foster sons, who was 5 years old and only with us for two months, would look at the pictures in his Bible and tell the stories to himself and sing songs about Jesus dying on the across for his sin," Claire said.

Their current children are learning that God is strong, always sees them and can help them to not be afraid. "They even pray on their own for God to help them when they are scared at night. It is such a blessing to see the Lord answer their prayers! We see that God has given them grace to really learn truth and love it."

Maybe most important, the couple believes the short time the kids spend with them will profoundly affect their futures. "We trust God that the children will remember these truths for the rest of their lives, and they will take them back to their families," Claire said.

Mike and Claire believe they have experienced strength and compassion that can only come from the Lord. "We have seen Him provide for us through friends bringing meals, giving us clothes and toys, offering parenting advice and baby sitting. Our friends at CCK have welcomed our foster children and loved them, too. We are so thankful," Claire said.

In the future, they plan to specify that they want to foster children who are not expected to return to there homes and are be available for adoption, a request they said DCS gladly accommodates. "We are ready to have some who stay permanently," Claire said.

In Knox County there are currently 700 kids in foster care, Claire said. People who want to adopt through the state of Tennessee must do so through the foster care system. For more information on state adoptions, call 1-877-DCS-KIDS.
Edited by CCK’s editing team.